Baby GZ 1.0

Ever since we got married, Sam and I have wanted kids.  However, we knew that having kids + grad school = death.  So we waited...and waited...and waited.  I'm currently finishing my externship at Lamar and will be graduating next month (!!!!!) so we figured it would be awesome to be HUGE pregnant when I walked across the stage to get my diploma.  So, we started trying for a baby in September.  We figured if I got pregnant right away, I would be due in June.  That would be perfect.  Thinking back on that genius decision, I'm glad that's not how things worked out, because I couldn't imagine being 8 months pregnant right now and trying to finalize school stuff.  That's also assuming there were no unexpected uh-oh's during the pregnancy, like the baby coming early and stuff.  Or having twins.  Or anything else, really.  I thought it was a good idea at the time.  But it didn't happen.  
I then thought, how awesome would it be to find out I was pregnant around Christmas?  That would be perfect.  That didn't happen either.  
Back story: I was told I have PCOS. I don't accept that.  I just think I have other issues.  Anyway, I was told it takes the normal couple 6-12 months to become pregnant after trying.  So I wasn't discouraged - we had only been trying a couple of months.  I knew it wouldn't be much longer before we got our positive pregnancy test.  My fear was that Sam would become discouraged or bitter during the process.  So we didn't really talk about it. I didn't tell him when I found out about other people getting pregnant.  I didn't want to rub it in his face that other people were pregnant and we weren't.  
*Before I go on, please understand that our story is NO WHERE near the stories of people who have been trying for YEARS.  I don't consider us in the same category.  We didn't struggle.  We were normal.  
Anyway, for the month of January, I was adamant about us "actively" trying. I kept track on an app on my iPhone and I'm pretty sure both of us got tired of the routine.  The beginning of February, we went to the Dominican Republic.  We had a great time.  But contrary to popular belief, a baby was not conceived during that trip.  We got back home and I quit counting days.  I quit tracking it, and I quit reminding Sam about our "routine". 

Thursday, February 28, I went to Houston for a hearing aid training.  After lunch, I had horrible heartburn - I didn't know that's what it was at the time because I've never had it before.  For the rest of the day, I had bad heartburn.  I wasn't sure if it was something I ate or something else.  The thought crossed my mind that I could be pregnant, but after taking so many tests that were negative I wasn't 100% convinced. 
The following day, my stomach was just kind of in knots all day.  I couldn't figure out why - I wasn't nervous or anxious about anything.  I went to the grocery store Saturday, and I bought a couple of cheap pregnancy tests.  I mean if they were gonna be negative, I might as well get the cheap ones, right?  And - side note - it doesn't matter if you're married, you still get looks when you have pregnancy tests in your hand.  Like the people who see them don't know if they should prematurely congratulate you or go into mourning for you. 
So I get home, unload groceries, and I decided to take a test.  I know they say wait until you first wake up because your levels are higher in the morning. But I'm so impatient with these things.  So I took it - and there was the faintest little line.  I wasn't convinced.  I thought it was a false positive.  I had NO symptoms.  
The next morning, I take another one.  Still, a faint line.  So I went to church and went about my business.  After church, I went and bought an expensive one - the sensitivity is better so it'll give a better result.  I bought a digital one and a regular one with the lines.  I took the regular one first - 2 lines.  I'm freaking out.  Laughing hysterically.  I actually don't believe it yet.  I took pregnancy tests for 6 months and they were negative...what's this? 
Sam had to work that Sunday and he wouldn't be getting home until like 11, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay up that late.  But I HAD to tell him.  So I called him and it pretty much went like this:
Rae: "Hey...well I took a pregnancy test and I think I'm pregnant"
Sam: "Oh, cool."
That's it.  I don't even know if he heard me.  He's been wanting a kid, and now...it's like he doesn't care.
Well, that's not true.  The next day, he told me that he doesn't trust pregnancy tests because "you know, they're wrong sometimes" - so I scheduled a blood test.  Even though I took like 6 tests, including the digital ones that say "PREGNANT" across the screen. I took the blood test and my HCG level was 54.  It was kind of low, but it was definitely there.  So I call Sam and now he's excited.  He just needed a "real test".  So we tell our families over the week and they're all ecstatic.  It's great.  I went back the following week for a follow-up HCG test and it was 1789.  So I'm definitely pregnant.  So I'm at ease now since the number grew.  

I've decided to use a midwife at a birth center - so I had my first appointment with her April 9.  I was excited, but kind of scared because it had been a while since all these tests and I could possibly not be pregnant anymore.  But we answered questions and she did blood work and then at the end of the appointment, she put the doppler on my belly.  I already knew there was a really small chance we would hear the heartbeat because I was only 8 weeks.  But we heard it! The most beautiful sound I've heard - 168 beats a minute of pure joy and love.  So I definitely felt pregnant after that.  We weren't 100% sure of the conception date so she ordered an ultrasound to date the pregnancy.  We went Monday and got to see our little sweetheart.  There's just one in there and it's healthy.  It was actually moving during the ultrasound so we got to see its little body wiggling.  It was so sweet.  We saw and heard the heartbeat - 162 beats this time.  And I'm a week further along than we calculated.

I have no symptoms.  No morning sickness, thank you Jesus.  No cravings, no food aversions.  I've been tired, but it is exhausting to grow a baby.  Other than that, I feel great.

We tried for 6 months.  We did not struggle to get pregnant.  It happened when we weren't focused on it.  God knew the perfect timing for us.  And we couldn't be any happier about our little sweetheart.  

Baby Guerrero - Due 11/8/13

And, for the record, I think it's a boy :)

That awkward moment when you are excited about an appliance.

Never in my life have I ever been excited about an appliance. Until now. 

Behold. 

I can hear the angels in heaven singing melodiously. This is the most beautiful washer/dryer set that I've ever laid my big brown eyes upon.  And they even have these cute drawers that store my washer/dryer necessities so that I don't have to keep them up on a shelf somewhere. Genius. 

What's even better? We practically stole these. Except we didn't. We have a friend who was selling them for a ridiculously small amount of money and we didn't hesitate to jump on that bargain. 

We've actually owned them for a few months now, but we've been waiting for our new house with a laundry room (in Jesus' name) to come along.  We ended up having to get them now, (which is not a problem at all!) and we are going to start using them.  They're in our garage, but I plan to clean them daily. I'm that much in love. I think I need help.  They have a bazillion buttons and they make cute sounds when you push said buttons. I'm pretty excited. 

We gave our washer to some friends who are getting married, but they were unable to use our dryer because it's a gas dryer and they have an electrical connection. So...if you or anyone you know needs a gas dryer, we have one! It's free to a good home! It may or may not have my husband's name somewhere on it. I apologize for his need to graffiti random things that we own. He will lose a hand if he decides to "mark his territory" on our new washer and dryer. 

"I can't wait to get home so that I can wash some clothes!" - said no one ever. Except this girl. I'm so excited. 

Enjoy your day!

Rae :)

Book Review: Proverbs Reconstructed

"Proverbs Reconstructed" by Gus Dallas

When I first read about the book, I was excited to be able to dig deeper into Proverbs.  I've always enjoyed reading Proverbs because I feel like it is an instruction manual for how to live my life right.

Upon downloading the book on my eReader, I could not wait to open it and get started.  I was disappointed in the book because I was expecting a chapter by chapter analysis and explanation of the book.  "Proverbs Reconstructed" is organized alphabetically into categories which is excellent for research or a quick reference; however, the verses are singled out and taken out of context.  This can be viewed as a good thing, because it makes me want to grab my bible and continue reading on the subject.  

As a Christian wanting to dig deeper into the bible, this was not the book I was expecting.  On the other hand, this is a good book for reference when needing a scripture regarding a specific subject.  

Gus Dallas did a good job of categorizing Proverbs into items for reference, but after reading the brief synopsis of the book, I was expecting more. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Exams, white coat, spring semester, Boston, and our upcoming vacation!

First of all, I would like to apologize for my lack of blogging.  We've been pretty busy around here lately.

In my last post, I talked about how I've been exercising and eating right.  I'm happy to say I've lost 11 pounds in the last 2 months.   I've noticed a huge change in my body.  I have more energy and I'm genuinely happier.  I feel great!

The spring semester is coming to a close which means several things:
1.  I need to get started on writing my business plan for my practice management class.
2.  I only have 2 weeks left of clinic.  Usually, this makes me happy to get a break, but I'm really sad to be leaving this site.  I've really enjoyed being in private practice and I definitely have changed my mindset about working in private practice.  This is a definite possibility for me in the near future.
3.  I start my one year externship in June.  I'm working on applying for my Audiology Intern license and ABA (American Board of Audiology) provisional certification so that when I obtain enough hours, I can become a Board Certified Audiologist.

In March, all of my classmates and myself took the Praxis exam.  It's a comprehensive exam in Audiology that we all have to pass in order to receive our state license when we graduate and our certificate of clinical competence in Audiology (CCC-A).  I'm happy to say that I passed! I'm so thrilled.  That was possibly the worst test I've ever had to take in my life and I refused to take it again.  So I'm happy I passed!

Two weeks ago, almost the entire Lamar Audiology program traveled to Boston, Massachusetts for our annual audiology convention.  We got there a day early and used it to explore Boston!

Airplane ride to Boston.  It was like 7am.  Don't judge us.  

We went to MIT so that we could become smarter through diffusion.

Beautiful Boston!

Au.D. Class of 2013!

We had a great time, learned a lot, partied hard, got temporary threshold shifts (& tinnitus!) from the ReSound party, and saw a lot of history.  We didn't have time to see everything, but I think we got a good overview of Boston.

Today, several of my family members from Louisiana are driving to Texas to come support me at my white coat ceremony.  What's that?  I'm glad you asked!  It's a ceremony that is given by our student organization to honor the 3rd year students who are about to embark on their 4th year externships.  It's a night of celebration and I'm so happy that many of my family and friends are choosing to come support me tonight.  I don't graduate for another year, and when I do graduate it will be with the entire graduating class of Lamar University.  This is a more intimate ceremony just for audiology students and our family and friends where we can celebrate each other's accomplishments!  I'm so excited!

I'm also terribly sad.

Class of 2013.  AKA - The Best Class Ever.

I've been with these guys and gals for 3 years now.  We've become a family.  Our class has been extremely close since day one and it's going to be weird not being able to see them every week.  We've all accepted awesome externships, but we're no longer near each other.  5 of us are in Texas (3 in Houston, 1 in Amarillo, 1 in Beaumont), 1 is in Miami, and 1 is in Arkansas.  Needless to say, we won't be together anymore.  I can't promise that there won't be tears tonight.  But I know that I will see them again May 18, 2013 when we all walk across the stage and receive our diplomas as Doctors of Audiology!

Last week, Sam and I booked our vacation:

Carnival Conquest

We're going on a 7-day cruise to Jamaica, Grand Cayman Islands, and Cozumel! We leave May 20!      I'm super excited to be going because:

1. It's the week after my birthday.  So it's like a late birthday party.  That lasts an entire week.   It's also just a few weeks before our 4th wedding anniversary.
2. This will most likely be our last big vacation before we have a baby :)

      2a.  I'm not pregnant yet.  So chill out y'all.  But let's just say we're trying to strategically     plan it so that I'm very, very pregnant when I graduate next year.  So I'll be the one happily wobbling across the stage to get my diploma! 

This June, Sam will graduate from the Beaumont Electrical Joint Apprenticeship Training Commission (BEJATC) school.  He's been a licensed journeyman for about a year now, but he chose to follow through and complete his 5 year program through the IBEW Local 479.  I'm so proud of him - what he's accomplished and who he's become.  I couldn't have asked for a better life partner.  He accepted a position at Valero last October as an electrician and he will be there for as long as he wants.  He's happy and we're taken care of, thanks to Sam's hard work and Valero's awesome benefits.

So with that, I'll leave you to muse the greatness that's been going on in our lives.  As for me, I need to go work out, grab a few things at the mall, and get ready for a weekend of awesomeness!

God is great.  All the time.  Without Him, none of the aforementioned goodness would have happened.

-Rae-

A lifestyle change.

I've recently started working out.  And by working out, I mean about one hour of cardio six days a week.  I would like to lose a little weight; but mostly, I want to tone up and build my endurance.  I want to not only work out, but I also want to eat healthy.  It's not about just working out.  It's a lifestyle change.  You change the way you think about food and exercising and your free time.  Working out has given me more energy.  I'm more motivated to keep my house clean.  I'm more motivated so I don't find myself sitting on the couch for hours watching marathons.  I am more productive in my free time.

What workout am I doing? This one.  It's called Rockin' Body.  It's designed by "Insanity" instructor Shaun T.  I actually saw an infomercial on TV and decided that was something I would enjoy.  It's a dance-based workout, so I just get to dance and know that I'm working out.  But it's not a pansy dance DVD.  It really works.  At first, I didn't think it was working, but every week the workouts seem to be requiring more energy and I find myself dripping with sweat.  What I love about this workout is that I can do it at home.  I don't have to go anywhere.  For me, this eliminates the temptation to stay home.  I set my alarm clock for 5:45am and I usually start my workout around 6.  My husband also gets up for work at 5:45, so it keeps me accountable to get up and start my day if I hear him moving around.

You can get Rockin' Body on Amazon or other sites, but I bought it off of the Team BeachBody Website. With my 7 workouts, I also got a package of Shakeology (protein shake), a workout calendar, and some tips about eating and stuff.  There's also a coach assigned to you who will email to check in.  This is kind of annoying, but it was helpful when I had a couple of questions the other day.

One of my pastors also told me about this app that lets you track your calories and exercises.  You enter your personal information and it'll give you an estimate of how many calories you should consume daily.  It has a pretty good library of foods that you can search for, as well as letting you scan the barcode on your item and it'll give you the info for it.  I use it daily to log my meals and my exercises.  I also use it to log my weigh-ins and measurements.  It keeps me accountable for what I put in my body.

This is working for me because I'm staying consistent with it.  You have to be consistent and disciplined for it to work for you.  You have to stick with it for longer than a week.  I lost weight week one, but I gained a pound back week two, and then lost some week 3.  So it's going to take some time, but it'll work.  If you are trying to choose a workout plan, choose something that you are interested in.  I wasn't interested in building a lot of muscle, just toning up what I had.  So I didn't want to do a big strength training program.  I wanted to do a cardio-based workout that gets me in shape.

I'm nowhere near a pro at this, but I've stuck with it for 4 weeks.  Even if I don't lose another pound, I know that I feel better about myself.  You know that bloated feeling you get when you eat unhealthy food or too much food? I don't get that anymore.  I feel great.  I don't eat as much.  I make smarter choices when choosing what to eat.

Another thing I've learned how to do is push myself.  I used to quit when it got hard.  But when I look on my TV screen and see 7 minutes left or 9 minutes left, I just think to myself "only 7 more minutes and it'll be over" and I can make it through.  I push through because I know what my end results will be.  And because of that,  I can start my day in a good mood and with more energy.

So if you think you want to get in shape or lose weight or whatever your goal is, you can do it.  The outside results aren't immediate, but the inside ones are.  Well, I know mine were.  Pick a workout that you are interested in, and push yourself through it.  Even if you don't feel like working out today, do it.  You won't regret it.

Pushing harder every day,
Rae :)

*Dislaimers
1. I do NOT claim to be a pro. At all.  I'm just letting you know what's working for me!
2. I was not paid by Beachbody to talk up their programs.  There are also other workouts that they offer on their website, including P90X, Insanity, and other ones.

MUTEMATH & all it entails

Hello!

I'm still groggy from my lack of sleep last night - we got in at 2:15 from Houston and I was up early this morning. However, I had one of the best times of my life so I won't complain anymore. Until the end.

We went and saw MUTEMATH last night at the Houston House of Blues.  We left the house around 3:45 because we wanted to make sure we didn't hit traffic so that we could be there in time before the doors opened at 6:30.  We bought VIP passes which were more expensive but you'll see some benefits of that in a bit.

So we get there and go inside the House of Blues. Oh wait, this is a restaurant...are these people going to leave?  Oh, thanks hostess for letting us know we have to go around the side to get to the venue.  These things should be in the confirmation email.

Ok so we're in line now. As I said before, we bought VIP passes so we get to be first-in-line.  We get to go in like 30 minutes before everyone else so we can get all crammed on the first row before they all come in. Cool, I'm excited.

So it's like 7 when we finally get to go inside. We run in, grab a few things and assume our positions on the  FRONT ROW.  I'm stoked. I'm also starving and thirsty. But there's no way I'm moving.  I'm in front of this platform looking thing that I hear Paul is going to be standing on.  More stoked.  Then one of the security guys comes and says that we'll have to split a few times during the show because this thing moves.  Wait...it moves? Where's he gonna go?  Eh...whatever.

Ok so first band comes on. They were weird and the lead singer dances funny.  I laughed a lot.

Intermission time and then here we go!

The set

Drumset

Darren King, the drummer beast.  What's he doing you ask? Oh, he's just duct taping his headphones to his head.  No big deal. (!!!!)

They all come on, but they're coming from the back. My camera was not prepared to take pictures behind me so I didn't really get any shots of that. Plus, I'm short. So it would have been a bunch of other people's heads.

They perform EVERY song from their Odd Soul Album, plus all the other favorites. 26 songs people. 26 songs.

He's. right. there. 

He was standing on the aforementioned platform.
In. front. of. my. face.

Todd, the guitarist.  He just joined the band October 2011.

Roy, the bass player.  He looks straight out of a Beatles promo.

I could touch him. 

So the concert was FANTASTIC! Best concert I've ever been to! Why you ask?

Oh, because WE GOT TO MEET THEM.

I cannot believe we got to meet them. They were all super great and very friendly.  Oh my gosh.  I'm also the owner of two drumsticks now.  Well, together, they probably make one drumstick. Crazy beast Darren shreds drumsticks like a wood chipper so I caught one as it flew near my face and the other I just reached out and grabbed.  Because I was that close. Oh yes.

You'd think the fun would be over here right? Hop in our car, drive home.

The parking garage where we parked our car is LOCKED. I'm panicking.  We can't get in.  We're running around the whole garage and then finally, another VIP concert-goer manages to get inside so he lets us in. We grab the car and now, we can't get out.  The gates are shut and locked.  There are now several people running around trying to figure out what to do.  They somehow stumble upon this magic button that opens the gate.  So we all line up our cars, push the magic button, and haul out of there.

Now that this isn't happening to me right now, I'm laughing about it.  But at 12:30am, it was not funny. At. All.

So, that was our adventurous night! I'm so happy I got to spend it with my husband, because I would have freaked out with anyone else.  He stepped up, stayed behind, and made sure all of the cars were able to get out of the garage before the gate shut on us.  He's such a great man.

I'm off to the hospital to see baby Branson Shaw who's making his grand entrance into the world today in a few short minutes.

Have a great weekend!
Rae :)

oops, my bad.

If you read my last post, you should have gotten a strong impression that I have no interest in private practice.  I shouldn't haven't have posted anything or written my class assignment until I completed day one in my clinic rotation.

I'm working with a private practice audiologist this semester.  Immediately after leaving her office Monday, I discovered several things:

1. She has the cutest office ever.  She proved that audiologists don't have to have boring workplaces. She even painted her sound booth to complement the color scheme of her office.  It's very professional and very welcoming, like you would be going to into her home.

2.  Private practice doesn't mean working 8-5, Monday through Friday.  Private practice means I make my own schedule.  I can have days off if I want.  It's my choice.

3.  I don't have to make a decision whether or not I want to go into private practice today.  Or tomorrow.  I can work for several years before deciding if that's a path I want to take.

My schedule isn't a normal third year schedule (all day Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday).  I go half a day Monday, all day Tuesday, half a day Wednesday, and all day Thursday.  The joys of only working half a day means I can spend the other half doing school work or house/wife work.  I also have time to be more involved in my church, which is something I've had to back off from because of my previous Houston clinic-going.

It's funny how things change in a day.  Sunday, you couldn't pay me enough to go into private practice because I thought it would take away from being a mom, something I'm born to do.  But now, I know that I can be a good mom and raise my kids, and then open/buy a private practice once my kids are in school or even a little later.  The good news is that I don't have to decide that now.  When the time comes, we'll know if it's something we want to do.

In other news, I've been enjoying the mess out of coffee. I learned the hard way on Friday not to drink an entire pot over the course of a day, but I can do a cup or two :)

Also - it's storming outside, and while I'm so thankful to have the afternoon off, my poor Carmella is snuggled with me on the couch trying to hide from the thunder.  She's not allowed on the furniture; however, she forgets the rules when she hears thunder.  She's practically sitting on top of me, which is making the task of blogging particularly difficult.

Later on folks,
Rae

When I grow up...

For my business class, I have to write a paper talking about my interest in running a private practice.  I've been thinking for a couple of days about the potential of me one day owning my own practice.  As I sit here this morning, sipping on my second cup of coffee (I've been up since 6am and couldn't go back to sleep...),  one word keeps coming into my head: children.  I'll come back to the topic of private practice later, but let me catch you up really quick.

I have been going to school since I was 6 - kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and now graduate school.  I've been married for 3 1/2 years.  I took a year off between college and graduate school because I thought I was ready to have a family.  During that time, I realized that I wasn't ready emotionally or financially to start a family.  After talking it over with my husband, I decided to go back to graduate school and get my doctorate.  Then, one year afterwards I started to feel guilty.  Then a year later, and a year later.  I kept doubting myself and the choice I made to get my degree.  My husband has supported me throughout graduate school, but I felt that I was withholding from him the joy of having children.  Even though he was behind me going to school, why did I feel so guilty?  The bible has a few things to say about this:

"Children are a heritage from the Lord" - Psalm 127:3

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" - James 1:17

"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God" - Mark 10:14

"Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers" - Proverbs 17:6

"Be fruitful and multiply over all the earth" - Genesis 1:28

"I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in truth" - 3 John 1:4

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children" - Psalm 113:9

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." - Jeremiah 1:5

Also, Sarai (Sarah) and Hannah were both barren, but were faithful to God and he opened their wombs so that they could bear children.

Okay, so you get the point.  

I've been reading a book called "Real Marriage" by Mark & Grace Driscoll.  I'm only a few chapters into the book, but one thing that has really ripped on my heart is the chapter on men.  Mark rips on men and the different personalities that men have and how it works in a marriage.  This is not what's pulling at my heart.  What is, however, is the gentleness in the way he speaks of women.  I've never heard someone speak so sweetly of women.  Sure, I've read the scriptures from Ephesians about the husband loving his wife as Christ loves the church, and so on.  But I've never had it right in front of my face in plain English.  As Christian women, we have three main responsibilities: to be a follower of Christ, to be a wife, and to be a mother.  That's it.  

So, back to private practice.  I attend a state-regulated university.  Writing my paper with the response "I don't want to go into private practice because I love Jesus and my husband and I want to honor them by having children and owning a private practice will mean working 12 hours a day and being broke for five years and I don't want someone else raising my children so that I can be a businesswoman and own my own practice and be so stressed that when I'm at home all I think about is my job and how to make money so that my business doesn't go bankrupt" will probably not get me a good grade.  That will also only take up a couple of lines of the many I have to write.  Truthfully,  the thought of someone else raising my kids scares me to death.  I'm not talking about them being in a daycare...I'm talking about me having a baby, being off for 6 weeks, and then going to work 8-5 while my mom or my mother-in-law takes care of my baby until it's old enough to go to pre-k or kindergarten.  No offense to my mom or mother-in-law, because they're both excellent mothers, but I want to be able to raise my own children like they raised their children.  I want them to know me as their mother. I want to witness their first steps, their first words, and all of the joys and pains of motherhood.  

Going into private practice is not my only option.  I can work in a clinic, a hospital, an ENT office, a school, and other places.  I've thought about working full time, part time, or contracting out my services.  All three are good options, and each one has its pros and cons.  But I still don't know if that's the right path for me. 

So what - I get my doctorate and then become a stay at home wife/mom, wasting 8 years of college?  This is where it gets fuzzy.  I have NO IDEA what I should do.  I'm basically taking it one day at a time, and I'm putting the pressure on God to give me the vision of what his will is for me.  Yes, people do have children while they're in college, but traveling to Houston for clinic while being pregnant and having to be off for 6 weeks and then make up the time wasn't something my husband and I wanted me to do. 

This is my last semester of classes.  In June, I will start my one year externship at Lamar University and I'll graduate in May 2013.  Although I've thought about backing out at least twice during grad school, I'm so happy that my husband pushed me to finish and I know that I will be so excited to walk across the stage and receive my Doctorate of Audiology in a year and a half. 

Life is good.  God is greater!

Rae

The wind beneath my wings...

I'm 25 years old. I'm an only child, and I'm a true daddy's girl...still. 

However, I do not discredit my mother for raising me to be the woman I am today. She's had a rough life, but she's triumphed through the things that have been thrown at her. She is my best friend. 

History:

I was born in Thibodaux, Louisiana on May 14, 1986 to 23-year-old Victor and 21-year-old Paige. They wanted more kids, but my mom was told she couldn't have anymore. We lived in a trailer 2 doors down from my grandmother for 4 years until we moved to Beaumont, Texas for my mom's job. My dad was a truck driver for a little, tiny bit of my childhood, but when we moved, he started working for a different company because he didn't want to miss my childhood by being on the road. I went to Kindergarten in Beaumont. One year later, my parents found a rent house in Groves, Texas. I started first grade at Van Buren Elementary in groves.  I was also taking dancing lessons; I started when i was 3. My parents took me to dance lessons during the week as well as ccd and things for school. 

In 1991, my mom was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease.  However, they never stopped taking me everywhere. My dad stepped up and started getting me ready for school (fixing my hair, dressing me....) while mom was feeling like crap. she would have bad days where she just couldn't get out of bed because she felt so bad. no matter how she felt, she showed up to all of my performances, except 1 dance recital. because she was sick and in the hospital. my aunt and my mom's friend stepped up that year and helped me get dressed for my dances. i'll never forget that because i remember i was dancing while my mom was stuck in the hospital wishing she could have been there with me. i feel guilty for that. i should have been with her. 

dad gets hired on with a plant in beaumont and we're all so happy about that. they also buy the rent house they had been renting - and the lady owner-financed and used all their previous rent toward the house. i'm pretty sure that's the biggest blessing they could have gotten on a house. 

for a while, mom finds this great medication that makes her feel so much better - she's off all these other medications that she doesn't need anymore and she looks and feels great. we take family vacations and mom and dad take trips together and they're doing amazing. 

a few years later, she starts getting extreme migraines and an mri confirms a small lesion on her brain. so we have to discontinue the super great miracle medication because they fear that's what caused it. so now we're back to square one. all these extra medications and more medications to offset the side effects of other medications. meaning -- she feels like crap again. she's unhappy and miserable. but she doesn't show it. when she's out in public, you don't know anything's wrong with her.  i was heavily involved in high school: band, freshman/jv/varsity/head twirler. i had a busy schedule. they were at everything i did. beaming with pride for their daughter. i'm their world. 

so i finish high school and start college, at my local university here in beaumont. i'm still living at home because, well, i'm working at a local grocery store. and that pays next to nothing. 

mom's still not feeling great. some days are good, some days are bad. but she's still fighting and looking for a better medication. she gets involved in clinic trials, but nothing makes her feel better.

fast-forward to april 2007 -  i get engaged. so we go into full wedding mode. mom goes everywhere with me, picking out dresses, flowers, everything.  she didn't want me to be stressed, so she took on the weight of planning a wedding. she even met with the decorator to surprise me with some extra things for the reception. our wedding day was absolutely perfect.  and she was behind it all - but no one knew that. dad had a migraine the day of the wedding. but he hid it. during the reception, mom got a bad migraine and it was making her sick so dad had to take her home. she had been so stressed that it made her sick. 

One day, mom gets super sick and ends up in the hospital in Houston. But, the upside is they discovered this new drug that has been working on Crohn's disease patients. So she tries it and it WORKS! So she gets back off of all that medicine, and start this one. She's feeling GREAT and she and dad are going on vacations again and they're both so happy!

Mom has fought this disease for 20 years now.  There is no cure, but there is relief. She feels so much better, and she's so much happier.  

But, if you notice - no matter what was going on in my parents' lives, they never let that get in the way of being there for me and bringing me where I needed to be.  Dad worked overtime to make sure I could keep dancing/twirling and mom worked so that I could have the life I had.  They made sure I never had to sacrifice or lose anything. They never rubbed that in my face, but it's something I noticed. My parents never were people who threw me to be raised by other people.  If I wasn't able to go where they were invited, they didn't go. They put me first in everything they did. That's something I'll always carry with me, and I hope I can do that for my kids. 

They always stood back, in the shadow, while I got the recognition for being a good dancer/twirler/student. But I always knew that it was because of them and their support that I got to be all of those things.

My parents taught me logic and reason, and how to keep a level head. They taught me to think before acting, to weigh the consequences. They taught me how to change a tire. They taught me that I need to be sure that I can take care of myself and never have to rely on anyone else. They taught me how to be independent. They taught me how to be thrifty. They taught me how to do-it-myself. They taught me how to love. They taught me how to have fun. I have my mother's attitude, which I love. Her cajun, quick-tempered attitude. It's what makes me Rae. I'm Vic's level-headed and Paige's quick-tempered daughter. You never know what you're going to get with me, and I absolutely love that. I am equal parts Vic & Paige. And there's nothing I would change about that.

This may be the most cliche song ever, but it's so true. My parents are the wind beneath my wings. Through the joy and the pain, they have never let me see their pain. They always put me and my happiness first.

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.



Mom and dad, 
You are two of the greatest people I'll ever know. I am who I am because of you two. You both have instilled your values into me, and I'll never know what it's like to live a life with parents who don't love and appreciate me. And I'll make sure my children never know that feeling either. I see the love of God in you, because you love me unconditionally. You have sacrificed a lot to keep me happy, and I appreciate that more than you know. I'm so glad I have parents who are still married and who are so in love with each other. You have shown me how to love someone, and how to believe in something bigger than myself. You both are my heroes.


Rae

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Just a small town girl...

I love living in a small town. Period. You cannot take me out of here.

I've been "living" in Houston three days a week for the last 2 months and I realized how I take for granted the perks of living in a small town:
1. I can get to the store/post office/church/anything else in about 5 minutes.
2. I can leave my car unlocked and not worry that someone is going to steal/break into it. (Disclaimer: this is in MY town, not every town. Try this at your own risk.)
3. I can jog around my neighborhood without the necessity of a rape whistle.
4. My neighbors know me, my husband, my pets, and our friends' vehicles. So they know when/when not to worry about us. They're the best.

My one complaint about living in a small town:
Everyone knows you, your family, where you went to school, where you went yesterday and what you wore yesterday. I no longer live in the town I grew up in so I don't encounter this too much. (I live in my old high school's rival town.)

Today after leaving the post office, which is an exhausting 2 minutes from my house, I got in my car and thanked God for allowing us to live (and remain living) in a small town. I'm not a big city girl and I have no desire to become a big city girl. Ever.

Geaux Tigers.

I still don't understand the reason people use the spelling of "geaux".  It takes even more letters to spell. Sam decided yesterday that we're cajun now (I've been cajun all along) and that our name (Guerrero) has been changed to Guerrereaux. When you look at it, it does look cajun.  Moving on. 

The "Guerrereaux's"  ;)

My dad scored some tickets to the LSU/Auburn game Friday afternoon, texted me, and by Saturday morning at 8am, we were heading to Death Valley to watch the game.  We had a few stops to make on the way, so we got there around 1pm.  We had to park like a mile away - no sweat.  Then we met up with my dad's childhood friend at a tailgate party.  People in Texas don't know how to tailgate properly.  There were canopies set up everywhere. People had TVs set up to watch other games while they were tailgating for this one. Several people never even go into the stadium - they watch the game from the comfort of their motor home. Yes, I said motor home. These people get here DAYS before the game. That's dedication.  Or obsession.  Tomato, tomato. 

Mike the Bengal Tiger.  He's Mike #6. 

So now we're in the stadium.  We get to our spot and start to pity the folks who are what it seems like a mile above the field.  A little aside: You can see LSU Stadium from I-10.  So we've been discussing these nosebleed seats since long before we made it to the stadium.  My mom and dad sat in the 2nd row from the very very top when I was a little baby bean in her belly. So I've actually been to an LSU game before now. Anyway, scary scary seats. One good sneeze and there you go. We have great seats in the corner of the end zone. On the opposite side of the band. So we didn't have a whole lot of noise. Only the noise coming from the loudest fan ever 2 rows behind us.  Then, in the 2nd half, my husband decided to join in with the yelling.  And cheering.  And whistling.  It was comedic. 

Touchdown :)

I've never been to a game that had to waste time because of commercial breaks.  So every now and then, they would bring people on to the field and do presentations.  It's a good use of wasted time, but you don't think about that when you're watching the game on TV. "Hmm, I wonder what they do while we're watching commercials..." 

We had a great time, and we're so thankful that my dad was able to get these tickets.  I'm ready to go again!

 

It's been a while.

Now I've got that song stuck in your head, huh? Good.

I'm into my 4th week of clinic and I'm still LOVING it. Houston Ear Research Foundation (HERF) is the best clinical offsite I've been to thus far. I got my foundation at Lamar and my speed/efficiency at the ENT sites. But I'm so in love with this site. The patients we see are so gracious and willing to tell me everything I'll ever need to know about cochlear implants. It's cute when they find out I'm a student.  They get so excited.  If I had the option of choosing cochlear implants as a specialty, I just might do it.  It's definitely not an easy job; these people have to start over from scratch after they get implanted. It's challenging, but it's so rewarding.  To watch someone from day one get sound detection almost in the normal range gives me goosebumps.  Then, to see them a month later, understanding speech and communicating in the world again...it's mind-blowing.
I get to see a cochlear implant surgery next week.  I'm stoked and nervous all at the same time.  I can't wait to see the surgery, but I'm hoping I remember to breathe so I don't pass out...nothing major.
Although I love my clinic site, I hate having to "live" in Houston 3 days a week. I hardly get to see my husband, my poor dogs probably forgot who I was, and I absolutely hate having to pack, unpack, wash clothes, and re-pack every week.  It's easy to get burned out from this.  8 weeks left!

Now, I need to go get ready for tomorrow so I can go to clinic and then head home for some well-deserved time with my husband!

Rae

I'm now a 3rd year student.

Hallelujah! I'm over halfway there!

Recap: I went to Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels this past weekend with some of my best friends. I had an ah-mazing time! We did the water park thing on Friday and floated the Comal River on Saturday. I got sunburnt Saturday, but I'd do it all over again this weekend if I could.  It was a great trip and we had a blast.

I also wanted to say that we started a high-five train while waiting in line for one of the rides. The high-five started on my behalf ("that's what she said" joke) and it went back and forth at least 4 times while we were in line. It seems silly, but we got everyone in our line to be a part of something huge! Keep 5 alive!

So, school. I start school on Monday. And you know me, I'm a nerd. So I'm excited.  We have two weeks of orientation (or re-orientation for those of us who have done this before) and then we start clinic. My clinic site this semester is Houston Ear Research Foundation, aka HERC. I don't know where the "C" comes from. I will call it HERF. They do cochlear implants. I'm beyond stoked. I'll get to see a lot of cool stuff. Maybe I can watch a surgery?
So I will be in clinic 3 days a week this year, Tuesday-Thursday. My site is a good 2 hours from home. No need to fear, I will be spending the night at my classmate's apartment so I don't have to drive back and forth. That's a waste of gas. I can only imagine the dance parties that will go on. Oh, Deya...

I finally broke down and got sucked into the Harry Potter cult world. I used to think to myself, "self, why would anyone want to read stories about witches and magic? That's stupid." And then, I watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. And I enjoyed it. I'm not obsessed. But I did watch all of the movies. Including the last one. Totally was not expecting that little Snape part to happen in there.  Maybe if I would have read the books first, I'd have expected it. So now I'm spending my week off reading the books. I'm on #4.  I hope to be done before school starts on Monday, but there's a good possibility I will be reading throughout the next week as well. Either way, I love it. The wizardry and stuff is cute, but I'm more interested in her writing. She sucks you into this world and you're right there with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, living it up at Hogwarts. I love the adventure. To be honest, I was kind of embarrassed to admit that I'd finally watched the movies. But I really enjoyed them. I'm not going to go all Voldemort on everyone and become an evil person. I still love Jesus. However, I do enjoy the fact that I now understand the little jokes people throw in regarding all things Harry Potter. They used to go over my head. I get them now. Props.
I just wonder...after I read all the books, then what? Harry Potter's over. I guess I will have to find another series of books to bury my nose in. Hello my name is Rae, and I'm a nerd. And I'm proud of it.

Off to spend some quality time with the husband. He's the best.

'Til later,
Rae

Rocky Mountain High

I've had the pleasure of spending the past week with 4 of my classmates and about 80 other students in Colorado.

Keystone, Colorado - around 11,640 ft.

We went for an Audiology Summer Camp put on by a hearing aid company called Oticon. During the week, we had plenty of free time to explore and take part in activities on our own. 

Sunday, I hiked up a ski slope with David and Joe. 

My view once I climbed the ski slope. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I almost quit twice. David, however, talked on the phone most of the way up and showed no signs of exhaustion.

That evening, we went to a restaurant called The Mint. You order your food, and they bring your steak to you raw and you go cook it. We had a great time cooking our food and spending time getting to know other students in our program. 

Monday, we went white water rafting. I didn't bring my camera to take pictures because I didn't want it to get wet. We got soaked. The water was freezing and the sun wasn't out, so leaving my camera on the bus was a good idea.  

Tuesday, we had a day packed with sessions and workshops. That night, we had free time to go enjoy dinner wherever we wanted. A group of us went to the village and enjoyed a nice dinner at Wolf Rock. I had the best filet mignon. Ever. It was perfect. Then, it rained. According to the locals, this is the most it's rained. So, you're welcome, Colorado. We took the rain with us from Texas.  

Wednesday, I rode a ski lift up to the top of the mountains. 

Another scary thing. Going up was much scarier. 

But once we got up there, the scenery was amazing. 

Just one of the views from the top. Breathtaking.

We stayed up there a while and enjoyed the view, taking plenty of pictures. I've always wanted to go to Colorado, but I'd imagined myself there during the peak season. When it snows. To see it like this was a real treat. 

That evening, we went to the Country Boy Mine in Breckenridge.  It's an old gold mine. 

You can't see our tour guide in this picture. He looked like Shaun White. He also looked like he was about 16. He referred to the miners as "we" so it was hard to take him seriously, because we all know good and well that he was not around back in the day when this mine was still in business. He took us about 1100 feet into the mine, 200 feet before the gold vail. He claims there is 50 million dollars worth of gold still in there, but it would cost about 70 million to get it out. I don't think I believe that, but it keeps people from trying to get in there to steal the gold. 

We also encountered this beautiful creature: 

Meet Blizzard. He's a purebred Newfoundland. I thought he was a bear.  I want one. 

This is 100% the best trip I've been on thus far. The Oticon staff were amazing and they never once distinguished themselves above us. They spent the whole week hanging out with us, starting trouble (Henning!), and having a good time.  It definitely gives you positive thoughts about how the company is run. The people who work for Oticon love their job, and they look forward to the summer camp every year. 

I am so glad I was able to go on this trip, and I had one of the greatest experiences of my life. I will definitely go back to Colorado. But I'm making sure Sam comes with me to enjoy everything Colorado has to offer. It was so refreshing.

But I'm definitely glad to be back home. 

Houston, Texas. View from the plane!

I decided to do this blog as a picture/diary one. I figured it would give you a good insight on my trip and invite you to enjoy some of it with me. I have many more pictures that will be up on Facebook towards the end of August (took a Facebook hiatus for a couple of weeks). 

Rae :)

There is a season, turn, turn, turn.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV


Ok so I was at work earlier and a co-worker and I were talking about working holidays in retail. For example, in August, we are going to put out Halloween stuff and in October we'll take Halloween stuff down and put up Christmas stuff.  If you don't understand, here's another example. You go to your local department store looking for a bathing suit in June. What? They're out? That's because they put them out in February and now there are no more matching sets. You go in July and they're putting Christmas stuff out. So in our conversation I said, "People are so rushed to get to the next season that they can't stop to enjoy the one they're in." Oh man. I had an epiphany right there in Bath and Body Works. 


How many times do we find ourselves in a rough season and we're so ready to get out of it? For example, money may be tight and your car breaks down. That's a rough season. Or some difficult family matters take place. That's hard to deal with. We find ourselves saying "I'm so ready to get out of this season in my life." There's a reason for our seasons (I'm a poet...). God doesn't just decide..."oh let's see who I can pick on today." There's a reason your car broke down today. You may have gotten a chance to share the love of Jesus with someone through your broken down vehicle. You never know.  

I know I especially am trying to rush through this season in my life. Going to school full-time and working is not fun, but it's something I have to do to push myself and grow. I'll definitely appreciate it down the road when I'm reaping the benefits of my schooling.  But I'm not there yet. So instead of complaining about how much I can't wait to graduate and start doing whatever it is I'm going to do, I need to embrace my season and try to get everything out of it that I can.  God knows what I need during this "rough patch" and he's going to provide.  He'll equip me with the tools necessary to grow and mature.  And when this season is over, I'll have more knowledge than I did before. I'll know how to handle more difficult situations. I'll stress less over the little things. I won't stress about money because I know He's taking care of me.  I'll trust Him more than ever. 


If we are in a rush to move on to the next season, we lose sight of why we are in that season in the first place.  


"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction." 2 Timothy 4:2 NIV


Love,
Rae :)