The wind beneath my wings...

I'm 25 years old. I'm an only child, and I'm a true daddy's girl...still. 

However, I do not discredit my mother for raising me to be the woman I am today. She's had a rough life, but she's triumphed through the things that have been thrown at her. She is my best friend. 

History:

I was born in Thibodaux, Louisiana on May 14, 1986 to 23-year-old Victor and 21-year-old Paige. They wanted more kids, but my mom was told she couldn't have anymore. We lived in a trailer 2 doors down from my grandmother for 4 years until we moved to Beaumont, Texas for my mom's job. My dad was a truck driver for a little, tiny bit of my childhood, but when we moved, he started working for a different company because he didn't want to miss my childhood by being on the road. I went to Kindergarten in Beaumont. One year later, my parents found a rent house in Groves, Texas. I started first grade at Van Buren Elementary in groves.  I was also taking dancing lessons; I started when i was 3. My parents took me to dance lessons during the week as well as ccd and things for school. 

In 1991, my mom was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease.  However, they never stopped taking me everywhere. My dad stepped up and started getting me ready for school (fixing my hair, dressing me....) while mom was feeling like crap. she would have bad days where she just couldn't get out of bed because she felt so bad. no matter how she felt, she showed up to all of my performances, except 1 dance recital. because she was sick and in the hospital. my aunt and my mom's friend stepped up that year and helped me get dressed for my dances. i'll never forget that because i remember i was dancing while my mom was stuck in the hospital wishing she could have been there with me. i feel guilty for that. i should have been with her. 

dad gets hired on with a plant in beaumont and we're all so happy about that. they also buy the rent house they had been renting - and the lady owner-financed and used all their previous rent toward the house. i'm pretty sure that's the biggest blessing they could have gotten on a house. 

for a while, mom finds this great medication that makes her feel so much better - she's off all these other medications that she doesn't need anymore and she looks and feels great. we take family vacations and mom and dad take trips together and they're doing amazing. 

a few years later, she starts getting extreme migraines and an mri confirms a small lesion on her brain. so we have to discontinue the super great miracle medication because they fear that's what caused it. so now we're back to square one. all these extra medications and more medications to offset the side effects of other medications. meaning -- she feels like crap again. she's unhappy and miserable. but she doesn't show it. when she's out in public, you don't know anything's wrong with her.  i was heavily involved in high school: band, freshman/jv/varsity/head twirler. i had a busy schedule. they were at everything i did. beaming with pride for their daughter. i'm their world. 

so i finish high school and start college, at my local university here in beaumont. i'm still living at home because, well, i'm working at a local grocery store. and that pays next to nothing. 

mom's still not feeling great. some days are good, some days are bad. but she's still fighting and looking for a better medication. she gets involved in clinic trials, but nothing makes her feel better.

fast-forward to april 2007 -  i get engaged. so we go into full wedding mode. mom goes everywhere with me, picking out dresses, flowers, everything.  she didn't want me to be stressed, so she took on the weight of planning a wedding. she even met with the decorator to surprise me with some extra things for the reception. our wedding day was absolutely perfect.  and she was behind it all - but no one knew that. dad had a migraine the day of the wedding. but he hid it. during the reception, mom got a bad migraine and it was making her sick so dad had to take her home. she had been so stressed that it made her sick. 

One day, mom gets super sick and ends up in the hospital in Houston. But, the upside is they discovered this new drug that has been working on Crohn's disease patients. So she tries it and it WORKS! So she gets back off of all that medicine, and start this one. She's feeling GREAT and she and dad are going on vacations again and they're both so happy!

Mom has fought this disease for 20 years now.  There is no cure, but there is relief. She feels so much better, and she's so much happier.  

But, if you notice - no matter what was going on in my parents' lives, they never let that get in the way of being there for me and bringing me where I needed to be.  Dad worked overtime to make sure I could keep dancing/twirling and mom worked so that I could have the life I had.  They made sure I never had to sacrifice or lose anything. They never rubbed that in my face, but it's something I noticed. My parents never were people who threw me to be raised by other people.  If I wasn't able to go where they were invited, they didn't go. They put me first in everything they did. That's something I'll always carry with me, and I hope I can do that for my kids. 

They always stood back, in the shadow, while I got the recognition for being a good dancer/twirler/student. But I always knew that it was because of them and their support that I got to be all of those things.

My parents taught me logic and reason, and how to keep a level head. They taught me to think before acting, to weigh the consequences. They taught me how to change a tire. They taught me that I need to be sure that I can take care of myself and never have to rely on anyone else. They taught me how to be independent. They taught me how to be thrifty. They taught me how to do-it-myself. They taught me how to love. They taught me how to have fun. I have my mother's attitude, which I love. Her cajun, quick-tempered attitude. It's what makes me Rae. I'm Vic's level-headed and Paige's quick-tempered daughter. You never know what you're going to get with me, and I absolutely love that. I am equal parts Vic & Paige. And there's nothing I would change about that.

This may be the most cliche song ever, but it's so true. My parents are the wind beneath my wings. Through the joy and the pain, they have never let me see their pain. They always put me and my happiness first.

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.



Mom and dad, 
You are two of the greatest people I'll ever know. I am who I am because of you two. You both have instilled your values into me, and I'll never know what it's like to live a life with parents who don't love and appreciate me. And I'll make sure my children never know that feeling either. I see the love of God in you, because you love me unconditionally. You have sacrificed a lot to keep me happy, and I appreciate that more than you know. I'm so glad I have parents who are still married and who are so in love with each other. You have shown me how to love someone, and how to believe in something bigger than myself. You both are my heroes.


Rae

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